Losing heart
You have to live spherically – in many directions. Never lose your childish enthusiasm – and things will come your way.
Federico Fellini
Federico describes a deep, heartfelt way of being. When you have an open heart, it feels like the universe is in love with you and tells you daily through moments of beauty that take your breath away.
You have to choose to live this way. Choose to hug deeply. Choose to follow random paths of adventure. Choose to love regardless of what comes back.
But sometimes you lose heart.
Get real! Grow up! Forget about it! Go home! You can’t be disappointed by something you never hoped for, right?
Like vision or hearing, your heart is a precious point of contact with the world. It’s a sensory input that gives you both bearing and delight. It’s vital to all your other senses.
A closed heart goes through hugs untouched. It makes wine tasteless and dancing simply movement. A closed person is a puppet of their real self.
If love is the greater virtue of faith and hope, it’s because it gives the others purpose. Your childish enthusiasm gives meaning to all other things.
What good is a sheltered heart if you lose everything in the resignation to survival?
It’s in that moment when you think you can’t do it anymore, you have to choose, all over again.
I will live spherically in many directions. I choose to keep my childish enthusiasm. Who knows what will come my way?
Muchness 
Maybe people close themselves off because hurt is all they’ve ever known or experienced?
You can only climb back on that horse so many times before you tell yourself that it’s not worth the hassle, the pain or the anguish.
If you can feel the need to try again then I only have admiration for you because I know that if I am ever that way again, nobody will be getting close enough to do any damage.
All childish enthusiasm is tempered by adult wisdom. Can’t have you running around with scissors or out onto the street.
I know it’s a favourite thing of yours to claim people take advantage and it’s better not to trust anyone. I’m going to say an unpopular thing to you. That’s a perception filter. Almost no one can truthfully claim that hurt is all they’ve have ever known… all they’ve ever experienced, from anyone, ever. More often, that feeling comes from focussing on the negative and refusing to see the affections of people who care. The negative seems way bigger, to the point of being all.
But it’s not. In fact, it’s downright insulting to the people who care.
I’m also not talking about chasing romantic love endlessly till your heart is a smashed, little whimpering thing. I’m currently trying to figure out how (and if it’s possible) to keep an open heart while boldly facing the idea that romantic love might be done with me. I don’t know if that’s climbing back on the horse or staying down … maybe it’s a kind of side-saddle.