Living each day much muchier
To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness.
I’ve been away the past few weeks holidaying in Scotland. On returning, I found there was nothing in the world quite like the warm hug of friends who were pleased to see me, who said ‘welcome home.’
There was nothing like being greeted by my barista with ‘where have you been?’
There was nothing like being caught by the waist and led back to the dance floor by folk who missed me at class and socials.
When I was tired, stretched and ready to come home, these were the little things that helped me know I’d arrived.
It felt like belonging. I was wanted.
It means more to me than people realise.
I was one of those weird, friendless kids. I spent many hours wandering alone around the playground or sitting quietly, writing stories. My imagination was a rich, colourful place.
It still is.
However, those powers of invisibility turned into a lifelong habit. I automatically exclude myself. In my head, I don’t count. I watch. I don’t belong.
Of course, I’m not actually invisible (which is why I don’t pick my nose in public) but it takes a lot of conscious effort sometimes to feel connected.
Dancing is great for this. It gets me out of my head, forces me to be social and every time someone holds out their hand for the next dance, I really appreciate it.
I love that simple act of invitation. It’s beautiful.
There’s a thrill in going where no-one knows you, talking and flirting with people who’ll never see you again. You can say and do whatever you want because it doesn’t matter.
But you know, it’s nice to matter too. It’s nice to come home. It’s nice to belong and to be where you are wanted.