Muchness

Living each day much muchier

The art of pruning

Ask yourself: If I know something to be true, am I
prepared to follow it, even though it is contrary to what
I want or to what I have previously held to be true? Will I
follow it if it means being laughed at, if it means
personal financial loss, or some kind of hardship?

Eric Liddell

 

I’m a big fan of saying ‘yes’ to life. Life experiences should be enjoyed on their own merit, not because they get us to a goal. People should be valued and appreciated for their differences. Opinions and beliefs do not need to fit into a particular worldview. Say yes to something on its own terms.

There is another end to the spectrum though. There comes a time when you need to cut things out of your life.

Sometimes situations or people are not good for you. They’re not inherently bad. They could be genuinely nice people or a genuinely good job or a neighbourhood just minding its own business. But, for a particular reason, it’s not good for you.

I actually struggle a lot with this. I want things to be black and white where you cease a relationship because they’re a bad person who did bad things. You quit a job because you were bullied, undervalued or got a better offer. I struggle with relative decision-making, both my own and other people’s. I struggled when someone ended a friendship because my influence was unhealthy. Yet now, I’m faced with the exact same decision. My world keeps gets annoyingly icky and small because I leave doors open that should have been closed a long time ago. Doors that should have stayed closed. It’s too hard to move on properly in life when your past keeps showing up. It’s a bit like finding last winter’s tissues still in your coat pocket … it’s just wrong.

Social networks like Facebook contribute a lot to this. Designed to bring people together and keep them in touch, it can end up being a big tissue collection and a cause for more trouble than it’s worth.

I need to have the courage to make relative decisions… not because anyone did anything wrong, but because it’s right for me.

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One comment on “The art of pruning

  1. Jai Normosone
    June 2, 2010

    I can see your point of view here… I guess it comes under a belief of being polite to people that you come across in life and not wanting to appear to reject them for no reason.Unfortunately, it just adds to the clutter….I don't think it is courage that you need in order to have that cleanout of your mind. It is more a conviction that dictates that, for the sake of your own sanity, that you offload some of the deadwood. Going on your age, I think you are approaching one of the recognised times in your life when you may want to do that.I know that I went through some major changes in my attitudes towards life and people in my early 30's and the subsequent cleanout made me feel like a massive, massive weight had been removed from my shoulders. Your cull of facebook "friends" several months ago was a good start.There are ways to perform the cull and, in my case, it was just to drop off the face of the planet as far as people were concerned. Sure, it seems like running away but every other method is confrontational and I preferred to not go through that.I guess it was easier for me as I am more of a loner and can live without people easier than most – just so long as I have a few pets around me :)I'd be saying "do it" and don't feel pressured to hang onto people who are more of an emotional debt than they are worth.Remember: If you lend someone $20 and you never see them again – it was probably worth it.

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This entry was posted on June 1, 2010 by in Living fully.
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Thinker. Writer. Dancer. Not necessarily in that order.

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