Giving what you need most
Do not be afraid of showing your affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. People are more helped by sympathy, than by service; love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present.
John Lubbock
What we need the most is the very thing we refuse to give. It is the action most bound up in fear and protective practices.
I’ve never been a huggy person, but I adore hugs. Likewise I’ll tell someone that I love them quite a lot of times in my head but the words rarely, if ever make it past my lips. It’s easy for me to broadly paint men as emotionless libido machines and women as illogical and vain black holes of need yet not a single one of my male or female friends fits either description. So, why on earth would I do that? If I believe men don’t really love, then I won’t feel hard done by for not being loved by men. If I believe women are illogical and shallow, I won’t feel hard done by for being uncomfortable around and not fitting in with the girly crowd.
Whatever you’re most hardened against with cynical thoughts is probably what your heart is most hungry for. We tell ourselves it doesn’t exist so we won’t feel the pain of its absence in our lives. Except, this is an eternal loop of deprivation.
If you don’t believe it really exists, you won’t ever find it even when it’s right in front of you.
Don’t be afraid to show affection, give compliments, and speak out what’s in your heart or weighing on your mind. Try not to disqualify the things you need but act with courage by giving it to others. It’s probably just what they need too. Then, you’ll find out it’s as real and as good as you always hoped, but were always too afraid to find out.
Muchness 