Muchness

Living each day much muchier

Introverts unite

Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.
Susan Cain

introverts

I just discovered that I’m an introvert. This revelation didn’t surprise anyone else.

When I told my friends, what I mostly got back was variations of ‘yes…and?’

Thing is, I’m out socialising all the time. I have crazy, exhibitionist behaviour. I talk confidently at meetings. I idolise the extrovert who effortlessly lives out loud.

I’ve spent my entire life aiming for extroversion and then felt somehow broken or ill for fading out, for liking my inner world, for being calm and processed with my emotions and for often just needing to be alone.

It’s revolutionary that there’s a whole bunch of people like me. It’s normal.

Oh my God. I’m normal.

While it was obvious to my friends, it’s revolutionary to me. It means I’m free to find a new balance of quiet vs social and hopefully be more present for both.  If I preference solitude instead of always squishing it with FOMO, maybe I won’t spend so much time on the sidelines looking tired or vaguely haunted.

I’m really excited about this.

I’m interested to hear from other introverts too. How do you balance and maintain your energy?

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5 comments on “Introverts unite

  1. Bec
    February 5, 2015

    Really? You didn’t know? I could have told you that! I’m an introvert too. It doesn’t mean you don’t like people, just that you have to choose your social events wisely and schedule plenty of me time. I’ll often go to a social event but not stay very long. I find that works best for me. I think people have gotten used to me being an early leaver. I’ve learned to leave before my social quota has been completely used up:)

    • livingwithmuchness
      February 7, 2015

      Hi Bec. It’s not that I was unaware of introverted behaviour. I just thought that it was broken, not how I should be. So I’d keep going out and feeling more stretched. Maybe I rarely engaged properly with anyone because I was always on ecosaver mode. I need perhaps to not go out as often and when I do, learn the signs and go home – like you say.

      • Salvatore
        May 29, 2015

        Weve been conditioned to believe we are broken. Its nice to have it reinforced that we are just different. Oh and that different is good

      • livingwithmuchness
        June 2, 2015

        It’s just social context. Many asian cultures value reflection and processed emotions. It’s in terrible poor taste to dump your emotional messiness on other people and expect them to deal with it.
        In our culture, we don’t trust what we can’t see. While we value and legitimise the perspective of the individual, but we also require that same person to sell him/herself and to compete with society’s white noise or disappear entirely.

        The tree falling in the wood without anyone around to hear not only makes no sound but for all intents and purposes, doesn’t exist.

        I think that’s why I like Leunig so much – http://stephaniedale.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/leunig-olympics.jpg

  2. Jai Normosone
    February 6, 2015

    I have no idea what I am… I don’t think anyone else does either and I think you would be the same. One cannot dance and have the outward presence that you do (including that amazing smile) without being a little of column A and a little of column B. I think that maybe instead of being an actual Introvert (and this is subjective depending on which personality test you took and the questions they asked), you’re just someone who is comfortable with themselves and can live alone as a staff of 1 for Samson.
    I’d say that instead of being an ‘introvert’, you are actually just ‘mature’ – and, like common sense in this country, it is so goddamn rare, it should be regarded as a super power.
    Oh yeah – and I don’t mean ‘mature’ in the sense (and aroma) of cheese 🙂

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This entry was posted on February 5, 2015 by in Self awareness and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
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