Muchness

Living each day much muchier

When it seems all wrong

People dread silence because it is transparent; like clear water … and when people stare too close to silence they sometimes face their own reflections, their magnified shadows in the depths, and that frightens them.
Janet Frame

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Happiness is not a continual high.  When we imagine happiness, we picture it as a kind of heaven where there’s no sadness or struggle with dissonant feelings.  We have everything we need. It’s perfection.

There are momentary glimpses. Sometimes the beauty of life overwhelms you and your heart simply applauds.

We wish life could be strung from end to end with these moments, but it’s not possible. Anyone peddling this is selling a mirage and let me tell you why.

Not only is it impossible to be happy all the time, it’s not even desirable.

Life, real life, has happiness and grief, boredom and intrigue. It’s got chewy moments and achingly empty ones. It should be both and everything in between.

Don’t be deceived.  All of those moments are yours, including the low ones.

Happiness is a sweet pleasure that comes and goes but real joy is a blanket that wraps itself around you. When you live with integrity and passion, your joy is big enough to cradle a bruised and angry heart.

Don’t reject your low moments as though they’re not supposed to exist, like they’re not also  a part of life.  Allow them.  Let them breathe.  Let them come in like a tide, eddy and wash away again.

I’m happy to be sad sometimes.   I greet murky days with … well, let’s be honest. First I greet them with annoyance, but then I understand I need silence to calibrate how I feel.

I curl up next to the window with olives and a glass of wine and pour my inky heart onto journal pages until I can shine again.

When everything’s wrong, it’s like you’re watching the ripples of bad thoughts and feelings distort your reflection. It can look frightening… but find silence, if you can. Wait on it awhile.

Let the ripples smooth out and then look again.

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3 comments on “When it seems all wrong

  1. Matt
    January 14, 2014

    You’re becoming quite philosophical and insightful with your posts 🙂

    The sitting next to the window with olives and wine gave me the mental image of rain on the window and a cat near your feet…. and then I started to wonder what rain was and that there was no fire in the background due to the current series of heatwaves :p

    • livingwithmuchness
      January 14, 2014

      There was no rain and no fire this time at least… occasional cat though, you know how they are.

  2. Pingback: You Know You’re All Grown Up When You Realize… | Dark Acts Bible: Glass Half Empty, Base Cracked...

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This entry was posted on January 13, 2014 by in Sadness and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
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Department of Words

Department of Words

Thinker. Writer. Dancer. Not necessarily in that order.

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