Anger is the most futile emotion one can experience.
It is totally negative and feeds on one’s irrational, vindictive,
and punitive nature. It accomplishes nothing but a wider rift between persons, a growing dissatisfaction with self,
and empty feeling where loving understanding ought to be.
I’ve never been very good at anger. Oh, I get angry alright … but I push it waaay down, talk myself around it, pretend it’s not relevant and act like everything will be ok given enough time. I’ll get angry over injustice to other people quite quickly (eg. recent spat with Ed) but for some reason, it’s incredibly hard to allow for anger when I’ve been wronged. It takes a pretty $h*tty act, and even then sometimes it’s not until you’ve done a string of them, for me to tell you off. Watch out then, though, because you WILL get a verbal spanking!
A lot of the time when I think I’m sad, I’m actually angry. Like now.
“Oh … it’s because this and that is happening for them … I treasure them too much … it benefits no-one for me to get angry and act out.”
Is anger futile? It seems futile. It serves no purpose but to cause suffering to the one who suppresses it or suffering to many if it’s unleashed. That doesn’t mean it’s not there. Thinking around it doesn’t make it go away. What do you do with it?
What would it look like to BE angry but remain fair? Be angry but be loving? How do you acknowledge anger and deal with it when, at the same time, you care too much to inflict any kind of vengeance… even petty vengeance? What is forgiveness anyway except what I already plan to do (be fair, be practical, be kind)?
More questions than answers today, I’m afraid.