The topic came up with a few people facing the prospect of starting over.
When you’re young, friendship comes easily. You catch a wave with another kid, swap names and boom! Best friends for a day. It’s effortless. There are no norms, no expectations, no complications.
It’s still easy to meet people as you get older, but it’s harder to recreate a social circle that anchors you and makes you feel at home.
Whatever you may think of your family, they’re always a part of you. Your family knows you. They are the definition of home at the deepest part of you.
Good friendships are like that too.
Friends include you in their plans and assume you’ll be there. Friends tease you in ways that show how well they know you (and what they can get away with). Friends guess things you imagined were secret.
Over time, you move around, break up, stuff up or otherwise find yourself on the hunt for new friends. Suddenly, you face a lot of ‘no vacancy’ signs from folk who already have a circle. It’s hard to break in.
I don’t think people mean to be closed. Most of the time, they don’t even realize it’s rejection.
Connection is a basic human need and despite the awesome people we may know elsewhere, we need friends to know us here and now.
So, next time you see someone who’s a little quiet and on their own, extend a hand in friendship. You may not become BFFs. But who knows, they may become an indispensable part of your story and your happiness.